What does a trillionaire midlife crisis look like? We present ...


What does a trillionaire midlife crisis look like? We present Jeff Bezos

It’s not pretty. Try to be tolerant, stop those snide chuckles, pop an anti-nausea pill, and find out all about it

Harry de Quetteville

Yo yo yo! Wazzup! Who’s that hipster in the smoking threads hanging out with Lizzo at the Superbowl Party? Is that Jeff Bezos? What do you mean, you don’t know who Lizzo is? Come on. Jeff’s on it. He knows. Lizzo is the hip, sassy rapper behind such delicious, infectious, seditious songs as Juice. And Jeff is her No 1 fan. How does he know? Because Jeff doesn’t leave things to chance. No sir. He’s got the tongue-in-cheek selfie to prove it.

As he tweeted to his 1.2 million followers, riffing on one of the singer’s most popular lyrics: “I just took a DNA test, turns out I’m 100% @lizzo's biggest fan.”

It’s fair to say the picture did not garner universal applause. Even in our malleable, style-is-substance age, it seems there remain look-away-now moments in any social reinvention. For many, hip new Jeff Bezos – founder of online retail giant Amazon – striking a pose with Lizzo was a through-the-fingers cringerama. The old rule is hearteningly constant: trying to be cool ain’t cool...

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