Did you catch that freak show about two Korea criminals?
Masterfully co-produced by Russia and China, what it lacked in substance it sure made up for in style
Just when I thought that humanity had lost its last spark of childlike wonder, the whole world has come together to enjoy a puppet show in Singapore.
The puppets were fairly traditional pantomime villains, a pair of outlandish goons whose pouts and super-villain outfits verged on cliché. The plot, too, was thin: the pair spend a day at a theme park and talk about how much fun it is to have nuclear bombs instead of intact masculinity.The puppetry, however, was sublime, and puppeteers China and Russia deserve the highest praise for pulling off such crowd-pleasing theatre.
China did an excellent job in convincing the crowd that “Kim” is a trustworthy business partner and not, in fact, a mass-murderer whose family is worth billions thanks to the extensive use of slavery.
But it was Russia that really wowed me. I greatly enjoyed its last five productions – “Donald Gets Inserted By Fox And Facebook”, “Donald Mainstreams Soviet-Style Mistrust Of News And Expert Opinion In The West”, “Donald Destabilises Nato”, “Donald Boosts The Price Of Russia’s Most Important Export By Getting Suckered Into Syria and Destroying Détente With Iran” and last week’s “Donald Tries To Splinter The G7, The Same Group That Expelled Russia” – and I was looking forward to something of similar quality in Singapore. I was not disappointed.With only the subtlest of tugs on the strings, the caricature named “Donald” strutted and posed, signed documents and uttered the popular catchphrases that have made him so loved by 50-year-old children around the world. (Because this was a co-production with China, the show’s official title is “Summit In Singapore” but I gather that Russia’s working title for this production is “Donald Does World-Leadery Things That Might Help Get Him Re-Elected And Give Russia Four More Years In The Oval Office”.)Finally, I want to extend congratulations to the whole production team. It takes an army of unsung heroes working behind the scenes to create theatre like this, and here I want to single out the public relations team, sorry, I mean “journalists” who have told us that were watching history being made rather than a puppet show featuring two habitual liars whose word is worth literally nothing. Kudos to everyone in the media who managed to convince the groundlings that they were watching leadership rather than a brazen get-together between a racist sex offender and a murderer who should be in the dock at the International Criminal Court. Bravo, guys.
So what comes next? Well, I’m certain that we can look forward to a sequel in a few months time, perhaps called “When We Said ‘Complete Denuclearisation’ We Meant Reducing Our Arsenal By 5 Warheads”, followed up with “Donald Raises The Value of Russian Oil Even More By Threatening Nuclear Obliteration Of Lying Kim”. And so on.
Final verdict: 4 stars out of 5. A solid night out with the kids.