If lockdown gets so bad you have to eat your dog, here’s the book for you
Why curly hair is handy in a crisis, and other lessons from John ‘Lofty’ Wiseman’s SAS Survival Guide
Like many readers, you may have taken self-isolation as your cue to get stuck into War and Peace. But after hours of beavering you may now be simply stuck. What you need is a book that speaks to the great themes – the long night of the soul, the triumph of the human spirit, how to fix a carburettor when all you’ve got is a pair of nylon stockings – which is pocket-sized and fully illustrated: Tolstoy-lite. What you need is the SAS Survival Guide.
This multimillion-copy-selling classic was written in 1987 by John “Lofty” Wiseman, a man whose terrifying achievements include becoming, aged 18, the youngest ever recruit to the SAS, and setting up the SAS Counter-Terrorist Team (the ones from the Iranian Embassy siege). Now 80, he makes Bear Grylls look like Paddington. His memoir is called Who Dares Grins.
Coronavirus has pushed us all a bit further along the prepper-anxiety spectrum. If you need a reality check, treat yourself to a long, hard peruse through the SAS Survival Guide. It could be so much worse. This is a book that literally tells you how to make a grass skirt to shield your groin from predatory birds...