What’s the difference between phlegm and salad dressing?

Lifestyle

What’s the difference between phlegm and salad dressing?

FREE TO READ | Why cough up for awful store-bought concoctions? You’re better off making it yourself, and it’s so easy

Andrea Burgener

Salad dressing seems a trifling matter to dwell on, given the state of the world. But having a lousy salad for dinner isn’t going to help matters.

It’s been on my mind because I had the gargantuan misfortune a few days ago of inadvertently consuming a mouthful of leaves dressed with that quite incredible instant stuff still available in supermarkets. Clearly, restaurants are also still buying these bottles of crud from their suppliers.

I really don’t understand not using pre-made anything, when making your own is a palaver and the alternatives are reasonable. Puff pastry, for example, requires skill and time to make, and the “bought” version can be pretty good, so why not? But the ready-made renditions of salad dressing are plain disgusting. Their mucous-like consistency bears no relation to any real dressing; the dried herbs often suspended in the alien-gloop are like bark, and their sharpness is reminiscent of the way tinfoil reacts to a filling. And yet, they get sold. Actual people buy them! ..

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