No ifs, ands or butt plugs: Sex toys and tomfoolery are hot

Lifestyle

No ifs, ands or butt plugs: Sex toys and tomfoolery are hot

The things people will do to improve their sex lives

Zola Zingithwa


Most people are reluctant to talk about sex but it seems many are interested in it - after all, SA is among the top 20 countries when it comes to visiting Pornhub, according to TimesLive. It was in tied second place with Brazil for the number of women that visit the site.
And if the “enlarge your appendage” adverts we see plastered everywhere, and all those men’s health commercials on TV are anything to go by, it seems many South Africans are anxious to improve their sex lives. What’s more, some of them are willing to go to, er, great lengths to have the sex lives of their dreams. Here are some of them:
Vagina and penis shots
A procedure called “platelet rich plasma sexual rejuvenation”, offered by Johannesburg medical aesthetic centre Anti-Aging Art, promises to transform your love life. For this, your own activated blood is injected into your vagina or penis.
According to Dr Reza Mia, the v-shot can enhance clitoral orgasms, and increase arousal and lubrication and vaginal tightness. The benefits of the p-shot are apparently “longer, firmer and more sustainable erections” and “proven penis enlargement”.
Mia even promises the latter procedure is painless. “I watch the man’s face, obviously, because I want to know if it’s sore. They don’t tend to squirm or anything. They are fine.”
Toys
Sex toys are pretty run of the mill these days – you probably use them or know someone who does. But not all sex toys are created equal – some are truly eyebrow-raising. Take butt plugs. They are exactly as their name suggests – you put them in your anus and, according to those in the know, the sensation is very pleasing.
The Prince’s Wand gives those with penises the option to stick it up their “pee hole”. Why? Who knows!
A fun toy is the OhMiBod Vibrator, which syncs to a music playlist and, well, is a multitask stimulator.
This year we can look forward to the release of the Osé, which its creators boast “mimics all of the sensations of a human mouth, tongue and fingers” to feel “just like a real partner”. Yep!
Supplements
No need to call a number found on a dodgy pamphlet: even pharmacy retailers, such as Clicks, stock them. Many more are available online.
Among them are products such as Imbiza, a herbal pill for men made “to enhance virility and boost energy”. Max Performer is another and has ingredients such as horny goat weed, which can apparently increase blood circulation and testosterone levels while improving nerve stimulation.
We can’t say a doctor has approved any of these. In fact, many supplements have not gone through the necessary rigorous medical testing. The US Food and Drug Administration has warned about the side effects of ingesting such supplements in the name of virility. You might get a hard-on but is the potential heart attack worth it?
Dolls
Sex dolls have been around for decades but they have changed with the times. They have got more lifelike, from their weight to the sounds they make. Realbotix’s Harmony doll even comes with a self-lubricating vagina and incorporates AI “designed to identify with its users’ interests and preferences”.
Dolls have even infiltrated brothels. The UK and Canada host such brothels but none exist yet in SA (that we know of) so that little fetish will have to wait.
Or you can just buy your own. It seems South Africans are not put off by the price tags on sex dolls, which Luvland adult store operations manager Patrick Meyer told City Press can start from R16,000.
Clubs
Are you open-minded enough to watch your significant other have sex with someone else? Well, that’s what gets some people going and it’s why swingers clubs, such as Club Rome and Club Poizen, exist. Pharaohs Private Fantasy Club in Johannesburg apparently even offers home-cooked food for those who need a pick-me-up after playing around with other adults.
In a 2018 interview with Sowetan magazine, musician Moonchild Sanelly said she wants to open her own nude club to give patrons a safe space to get it on.
“Because we all have sex, we all love it and why are we scared?”

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