OH, THE AGONY: I think the guy I like is a cheat

Lifestyle

OH, THE AGONY: I think the guy I like is a cheat

Tongue-in-cheek advice for your most profound problems

Yolisa Mkele and Nina Hastie

I have a feeling the guy I like is a cheat. Should I trust my feelings?
YOLISA MKELEAs countless romantic comedies have proven, trusting your gut is absolutely failsafe. I mean, who wouldn’t trust a sack full of corrosive chemicals continually trying to entice you into eating a tubful of ice cream and six muffins for breakfast? Just be careful not to misinterpret the mystic messages one’s gut tries to send. If it growls every time you see him, you may just need to alter your eating habits or ask him to change his cologne.
NINA HASTIEHoney, without sounding like a jaded Joburger with a career instead of babies, a plethora of pickup line deterrents, and a Tinder profile selling a version of myself even my parents like; they all cheat.
No really, all men cheat. Except our dads. Our dads have only ever looked at our mothers, end of story — I won’t entertain any other version of it. Oh, and that one nice guy at work with the ugly wife (I bet she vajazzles). What is it you want from him — 25 to life, or a few good rounds around the culinary circuit of the city of your choice, dining and wining and a bit of a romp? I say more pomp, less ceremony. We’d all be a lot less disappointed.
•Hastie is a comedian and Mkele is a journalist. Consult a professional therapist if your problem persists.

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