My phone wishes we could finish each other’s sentences, but it’s ...



My phone wishes we could finish each other’s sentences, but it’s too fast

A column to satisfy your inner grammar nerd

Deputy features editor: Sunday Times

Near the beginning of lockdown, about 100,000 years ago, a friend told me she was having trouble remembering what day it was.

At the time, I did not feel that I was suffering from the same affliction, because as staffers on SA’s biggest national newspaper our days are circumscribed. Mine go like this: Monday — talk to writers and compile diary; Tuesday — present diary; Wednesday — refine diary and liaise with writers; Thursday — liaise with design, pictures and production staff; Friday — finish design; Saturday — check page proofs; Sunday — rest. All that probably sounds a lot easier than it is in practice, and there are also these columns, but let us not complicate things.

Getting back to my friend, whose job is not delineated by days of the week, as she is one of those professionals from whom things are constantly and unceasingly demanded ... She said she had decided in the absence of change to write the seven days of the week on Post-its, stick them to her wall and every morning, as she woke up, throw one of the darts positioned on her bedside table (I did not ask why) at the wall. Whichever day it landed on would be what the day was called, she said. This illustrates the nature of randomness, if you ask me...

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