SA is already primed for an apocalypse. We didn’t need Bandile ...

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SA is already primed for an apocalypse. We didn’t need Bandile Masuku

The Gauteng health MEC’s wonky soundbite about Covid graves can’t be written off as a minor irritation

Columnist

Are you an aspiring public servant, spokesperson, PR agent or journalist? Do you want to learn how not to shoot yourself and your employers in the kneecaps? Then gather round, and listen to the cautionary tale of Dr Bandile Masuku, or How To Turn A Small Bureaucratic Factoid Into A Fiery Cartwheeling Shitshow.

You might not have registered his name, but on Wednesday you almost certainly caught a whiff of those petrol fumes and heard the whoosh of the fireball. Because it was on Wednesday that Dr Masuku, Gauteng’s health MEC, told media that 1.5 million grave sites were being prepared in the province in response to surging Covid-19 figures.

This was obviously very alarming news. It was also terribly confusing. In SA, Covid-19 has killed 1.6% of the people who have tested positive for it. In order for 1.5 million people to die in Gauteng, at least 93 million Gautengers will have to contract it, which is about 35 million more people than currently exist in the whole of SA...

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