Even before SA’s lockdown stage 3 regulations were issued yesterday, online booze outlets were flooded with orders. In anticipation of next week’s deluge, all the liquor websites I visited this week (purely in the name of research) were advertising “pre-orders”, meaning you can order now and receive your bounty once it is legal.

But wait now. What is this “pre-order”? When you order something, you expect a delay between your asking for it and its arriving (gerund-lovers, don’t say I never do anything for you). So how is a pre-order any different from a plain old order?

Unlike “buy now, pay later” scams, the ordering process generally involves paying now and receiving later. If waiting is already an integral part of ordering, does “pre-ordering” mean you have to order an order and wait for a bit before you are ordered to order the thing you want? ..