WTF, IEC? If you let BLF on to the ballot, next it’ll be the Nazis
Andile Mngxitama's utopian fantasies have doubtless been invigorated - but don't ask him how he's going to fund it all
The announcement by the Independent Electoral Commission that Andile Mngxitama and Lindsay Maasdorp are free to stand as MPs for the Black First Land First party (BLF) will come as a massive relief to SA’s marginalised Nazi community, which can now look forward to running in 2024 on a ticket that excludes black, Jewish, gay and disabled South Africans.
When Mngxitama declared that his meal-ticket – sorry, I mean “political party” – did not accept white people, many South Africans assumed that the IEC would remove it from the list of parties eligible to compete on May 8.
But this week’s announcement, which suggested that BLF will appear on the ballot, has taken the oppressive boot of tolerance and non-racialism off the throat of violent ethno-nationalism, freeing racists of all persuasions to offer South Africans an alternative vision of the future, in which everything is on fire.
Pundits point out, however, that BLF has a long way to go before Mngxitama can finally achieve his ultimate goal of no longer living in his car. Depending on voter turnout, a seat in parliament requires somewhere around 40,000 votes, which means the party has only 28 days to grow its support base by 39,985 people.
To this end, it has produced a ripsnorter of a manifesto it calls a “battle plan”. Those of us who remember Mngxitama’s desperate flight through the streets of Cape Town, chased by EFF supporters, might assume that his battle plan involves hiding in the back of a hipster coffee shop in Roeland Street, but we’d be wrong: the cunning plan is based on the revolution of none other than Muammar Gaddafi.
On Sunday, the party reiterated this position on its website, reminding us that Gaddafi “showed that it’s possible to have free housing, free schooling, free electricity and a generally socialist state that puts people first”.
To be fair, this is mostly true. Gaddafi did do a lot of those things. Which makes me wonder: which of SA’s vast oilfields is Andile going to nationalise to pay for all of this, the way Gaddafi did?
Then again, populists selling bigotry and utopian fantasies have never felt a need to spell out where, exactly, the money is going to come from.
Still, one can’t help wondering: if BLF win that one seat and Mngxitama starts being paid by taxpayers, will he object to receiving the portion of his salary that is contributed by white South Africans? Or is that the moment that black and white fall away, replaced by endless, glorious green?